Kiss
Puke
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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