My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
