And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize