we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
