He uses pillows to masturbate.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
