And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
