but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
