just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
