why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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