I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
