Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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