U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My hand turned me down
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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