He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
