At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
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