I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize