Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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