I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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