Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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