Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
