a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
