Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
