This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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