I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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