Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Rumble strips road head = magical
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
