So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
