so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
