the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
