I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
