is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
