I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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