My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
