I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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