Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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