I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
