your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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