It's just like the Real World with babies
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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