do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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