I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize