You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
