just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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