On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
