Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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