addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Randomize
