I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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