Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
