I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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