You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.