did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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