Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after? http://tfl.nu/ai6n
  Replies (45) Good night (1211) Bad night (5345)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck. http://tfl.nu/534s
  Replies (10) Good night (5613) Bad night (1014)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles. http://tfl.nu/wcsn
  Replies (9) Good night (3544) Bad night (1114)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her" http://tfl.nu/oma3
  Replies (16) Good night (4962) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe http://tfl.nu/mori
  Replies (4) Good night (4436) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober? http://tfl.nu/e9ou
  Replies (9) Good night (1211) Bad night (3238)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!! http://tfl.nu/msw0
  Replies (11) Good night (2313) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together. http://tfl.nu/2jfm
  Replies (7) Good night (2311) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end. http://tfl.nu/ykik
  Replies (4) Good night (1112) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater http://tfl.nu/z0ly
  Replies (3) Good night (476) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye? http://tfl.nu/6n0k
  Replies (6) Good night (973) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica http://tfl.nu/yubm
  Replies (4) Good night (1163) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies http://tfl.nu/uhfl
  Replies (2) Good night (642) Bad night (257)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence. http://tfl.nu/7y1e
  Replies (0) Good night (444) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace. http://tfl.nu/dz2e
  Replies (0) Good night (339) Bad night (416)

Randomize