Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.

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(502): I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away. http://tfl.nu/vvbq

Replies (4) Good night (3089) Bad night (755)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.

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(603): I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed. http://tfl.nu/t2tl

Replies (17) Good night (4839) Bad night (831)
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(917): View more from New York City

Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.

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(917): Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed. http://tfl.nu/8c7h

Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (2951)
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(607): View more from New York

New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics

(1-607): View more from New York

That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder

(1-607): View more from New York

Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?

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(607): New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics (1-607): That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder (1-607): Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in? http://tfl.nu/6ryu

Replies (25) Good night (5340) Bad night (696)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.

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(502): Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this. http://tfl.nu/29p7

Replies (13) Good night (4465) Bad night (1437)
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(818): View more from California

The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.

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(818): The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again. http://tfl.nu/z8ef

Replies (11) Good night (4588) Bad night (1067)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks

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(610): dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks http://tfl.nu/8rbl

Replies (20) Good night (2174) Bad night (3755)
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(630): View more from Illinois

she could've warned me his penis was curved

(708): View more from Illinois

ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.

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(630): she could've warned me his penis was curved (708): ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/vp5d

Replies (14) Good night (1814) Bad night (4805)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.

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(978): IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES. http://tfl.nu/cxji

Replies (7) Good night (2494) Bad night (759)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.

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(978): Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me. (978): Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex. http://tfl.nu/urbj

Replies (2) Good night (1963) Bad night (701)
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(904): View more from Florida

There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.

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(904): There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's. http://tfl.nu/flhw

Replies (5) Good night (923) Bad night (574)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.

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(781): Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants. http://tfl.nu/zvak

Replies (3) Good night (1089) Bad night (431)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna

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(814): I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna http://tfl.nu/s83h

Replies (11) Good night (1264) Bad night (515)
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(360): View more from Washington

Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.

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(360): Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits. http://tfl.nu/3dqo

Replies (5) Good night (1569) Bad night (372)
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(716): View more from New York

I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"

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(716): I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?" http://tfl.nu/zqsu

Replies (11) Good night (260) Bad night (895)

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