Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.