WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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