hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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