I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
