Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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