that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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