the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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