dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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