you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
