Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
