god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
