There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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