...so i touched it.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
