sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize