Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
thus making me awesome and them whores
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
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